My Testimony

Last January, I signed up for FAITH classes at our church. A WONDERFUL class on evangelism (sharing the Gospel with others)! I'm going to try not to get too wordy for those that might be reading this and seeing these words for the first time also. One of the many things I took away from that class was how to write and share my testimony- how God has totally and completely changed my life! While going through my computer files from this past year I found what I wrote for that class and decided to share it. I'm not expecting too many gasps from my friends on Facebook, because....well, I had to let a lot of people out of my life, and my "friend" number stays low for a reason. I've heard some really powerful testimonys that have impacted me, so here goes, and here's hoping it impacts someone.


A few years ago, I was a twenty-two year old single mother. After becoming pregnant at nineteen and living in an emotional/verbal/physical abusive situation, I found myself left alone with a mortgage and a baby. I worked two jobs and lived day to day, unsure of what was in store for me and my son in our future. High school had been a party; I won't go too far into details but I had tried eveything. My friends had left me long ago when I was pregnant and I had to drop out of school to support myself and Cory.

I was working in Athens when I met my future husband, Heath. Heath was different; he told me from the beginning that we couldn’t see each other on Wednesdays, Thursdays or Sunday mornings because he had prior commitments at church. I thought that was weird but knew I could soon change him, so I would put up with it “for now.” Heath would take me out and talk about God, and I would ask him to please drop the subject, that I was more comfortable talking about something else.

Eventually to see him more I would join him at church on Sunday mornings. I let him know that under no uncertain circumstances would I ever volunteer to help with anything at his church or be there on Wednesday nights, I was too busy. He never pushed me but kept up his routine of attending church every Sunday, Wednesday and Thursday. He introduced me to his friends whom I immediately disliked for their churchy demeanor. Over time, the “church talk” became customary and I grew to like listening to Heath talk about God. We became engaged and started our wedding plans. A preacher was needed and I was fine with anyone marrying us. Heath, however, was insistent on finding our own church that we liked and choosing a preacher we liked to marry us. After visiting a few churches we found Maysville Baptist and introduced ourselves to Brian Stowe, the preacher. He agreed to marry us after completing pre-marital counseling and I agreed, wondering how much more of this God stuff I could take.

He encouraged us to enroll in a Sunday School class to learn more about the church and I was shocked that he expected me to attend both church and Sunday School. Grudgingly I agreed so we could get married and there I was in church for three hours every Sunday morning. Something happened to me while attending Sunday School, church, and listening to Heath and this preacher all speak about this one God. It made me more and more nervous about where I was going after I died- I thought I knew I was going to heaven, but was I? Really was I sure? Did I know without a doubt? What if I really did die tomorrow...or tonight?

At the end of each service Brian would offer an invitation.....and I began to dread that part of the service. My legs would be bouncing and I'd feel shaky and hot and would wonder what in the world was wrong with me. I brought it up to Heath and his suggestion was to actually go forward during the invitation to share that. Ummmm......NO!!!! Don't you know I'm safe in my seat right here? So it went every Sunday: the invitation, the jitters, go home. Invitation, the jitters, go home, and trying to stay far away from that feeling (I can't accurately put it in words).




I would secretly watch the people who came forward at the end of the service to watch what happened to them.....why would they risk stepping forward? And WHY would they lose control of themselves and cry? CRAZY church people. I knew I had more "life experience" than them, and they could never understand where I come from. I was way different from them and I wanted it that way. (Looking back I'm truly amazed at how ignorant I perceived church-goer's to be, and I still know others to believe this.)

Then I had a life changing experience.

 
 

Now I enjoy attending church and Sunday School regularly. Sunday School was where I met other couples my age, also Christians. I have had lasting friendships out of that class that have far exceeded the quality of friendships I thought I had before. It led me to want to teach others, especially younger girls who might face the same decisions I had once faced as a young teenager. Now I’m volunteering to not only come to church service, but enjoy giving back my time into the middle school girls I teach every Sunday. Women’s Bible studies take up my Wednesday nights where I’ve met other women in different seasons of life. Those old church ladies? I LOVE to pick their brain because they have been there, experienced it, lived to tell about it, and have wisdom to share. My current mentor came from those Wednesday night Bible studies I was so determined to avoid. She leads me with God’s word and encourages me to grow as a Christian. She is showing me how to be a mother to my boys, and a wife to my husband. She leads by her actions and by teaching me to follow God’s word always. And those annoying church girls I knew more than? Some of the best friends I never even knew existed. I was judging them before they could judge me and was limiting myself.

I am SO thankful for my husband. He is a wonderful leader and was one of the first people praying for my salvation when so many others had given up on me. I know many people don't have the husband I have, and I will always be grateful for his leadership in our family. He is a loving husband, a GREAT Daddy to Easton and Cory, and a Godly man. I don't know where I would be without him.

Monday nights are also spent at church: learning to share God’s message with others! Now that I’ve learned this vital information, I can’t let others go by without sharing it! My heart aches for people that don’t know my God, and cries for those that have rejected His message, just like I did for so long, thinking that they are saved. God’s love and mercy continually amazes me. I still mess up as a Christian, I still have bad days, I still lose my temper but God loves me and He forgives me.

 

I'm sharing this because I'm not convinced I was the last girl wondering.....or recititing that same phrase, "Lord, come into my heart, take away my sin, and save me," and then thought, "Done. Now what?"

Forgiven....gone, no more, washed away. There is no list of exceptions (I checked!).

If looking at a huge Bible and opening it randomly to read one page and try to apply it's meaning to your life is something you've tried, I've been there. If the term "saved" is confusing to you, I've been there. If the thought of talking to one of those church-going, smiling folks seems like the LAST thing you want to do- I've been there! But I can share with you that now I'm here. And it's different. I'd love to tell you about it in person and hear your story. :)